Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Let's Help New York Fans Pick A Team To Root For This October

So for the first time since the playoffs expanded to 3 rounds, the road to the World Series won't go through New York.

Using my theory that you don't really follow pennant races day in and day out until you are 7 years old... then there are 22 year old Yankee fans who have no concrete memories of an October without Yankees baseball.

Imagine that... you've graduated from college and not understood how to watch the post season without a direct rooting interest.

Mets fans are more used to it, but are no less shellshocked from wetting the bed two straight Septembers that maybe watching the post season isn't something they are interested in doing.

But rest assured, it is fun to pick a team to root for in the playoffs.
You get to have all the fun of having a rooting interest without that pesky loyalty nor riding the ups and downs of a team.
So you can root for say, the Rays, without having to follow the team in the regular season.
Ergo you can be EXACTLY like a Rays fan.

Now one way to adopt a team in October is to think of a friend or relative you have that roots for a team in the post season.

PROS OF ROOTING FOR YOUR FRIENDS TEAM:
1. At least your friend will be happy.
2. You remember when YOUR team won and now you have a common ground with your friend.

CONS OF ROOTING FOR YOUR FRIENDS TEAM:
1. If your friend's team wins the World Series, no doubt they will rub your nose in it.
2. If you can't be happy, why should your friend be happy?
3. You can write a nasty e mail to your friend when they lose and then act cold when they respond "At least my team played in October."
4. Chances are that other friend is a Red Sox fan.

And that brings up a critical point...
Picking a team to root for often has little to do with who you want to see happy but rather whose misery will make you grin a little bit.
October is a harsh month, so why not be petty and mean too?

If you don't want to root for your friend's team, then pick another team.

So let's look at the pros and cons of rooting for each team.





ROOT FOR THE CHICAGO CUBS

PROS FOR A METS FAN:
- Anyone with a soul would like to see a World Series celebration in Wrigley Field... save for fans of the team that lost... or a White Sox fan... and that doesn't include YOU!

- There would be no 1969 without a Cubs collapse, so this could be a way to thank them.

- They suffered enough.

CONS FOR METS FAN:
- "No they haven't suffered enough! As long as I am suffering I want to know someone is suffering more!"


PROS FOR A YANKEES FAN:

- Sweet Lou was a great Yankee... and a World Series title with the Cubs would put him into the Hall of Fame. Give Lou some love.

- Alfonso Soriano was going to be the next big Yankee star before George fell in love with the idea of A-Rod. Plus remember his walk off homer against Seattle in the 2001 ALCS and hitting the home run that nearly won the 2001 World Series?

- Wouldn't you love to hear Ron Santo's call of the Cubs winning the World Series? His head might explode that that dude from Scanners.

- Be happy for Cubs fans. They aren't greedy. They just want one.

CONS FOR A YANKEES FAN:

- Are you ready to live in a world where the Red Sox, White Sox and Cubs have won a World Series more recently than the Yankees?

- Cubs fans seem nice now... but give them a World Series title and some beer and they will gleefully rub your nose in it. You'll see.





ROOT FOR THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS

PROS FOR A METS FAN:
- The Mets lost the Wild Card to the Brewers. Seeing them win the World Series might make it less humiliating.

- Bob Uecker is the voice of the Brewers. A happy Bob Uecker is good for America.

CONS FOR A METS FAN:
- It's too soon. A 2 1/2 game lead with a week to play and the Brewers drowning... and the Mets couldn't put them away. Just... too... soon.


PROS FOR A YANKEES FAN:
- First the Giants eliminate the Packers and then the Jets pick up Brett Favre. New York owes the state of Wisconsin an olive branch.

CONS FOR A YANKEES FAN:
- They are wearing down Sabathia's arm. James Woods gave Louis Gossett Jr more rest in Diggstown. Sabathia is the prize of the free agency class... don't break him!

- If the Brewers win the World Series after firing Ned Yost with less than 2 weeks to go, it might give Hank the idea that that is a smart thing to do. Girardi and co. don't want Hank getting any ideas.



ROOT FOR THE PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES

PROS FOR A METS FAN

- In the spirit of good sportsman ship, go ahead and cheer the team just to the South and let their fans know "You know, I'd rather see the Mets win... but I'm happy for you, Chum!"

CONS FOR A METS FAN

- Are you out of your mind?

- Seriously... the Mets and Phillies are developing into the new Red Sox/Yankees except neither one of them can win the big game. You want to give the PHILLIES the edge?


PROS FOR A YANKEES FAN

- It would make Mets fans so angry... and aren't Met fans funny when they are angry?


CONS FOR A YANKEES FAN

- You thought us Boston fans were obnoxious post Championship? Picture Phillies fans getting their first title of any kind since 1983. They'll make Red Sox fans look like the cast of a Merchant Ivory film.







ROOT FOR THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS


PROS FOR A METS FAN

- Pure anti Yankee venom. The ability to come up to that Yankee fan and say "Hey nice job firing Torre. Seriously the team is heading in the right direction... DOWN!"

CONS FOR A METS FAN

- I bet you have an uncle or an aunt whose heart was broken 50 years ago when the Dodgers left Brooklyn. Are you REALLY going to cheer for the Dodgers after they caused so much heart ache.


PROS FOR A YANKEES FAN

- Don Mattingly would finally get a World Series ring.

- Manny Ramirez winning while bad mouthing Boston would really make Red Sox Nation's blood boil.

- Joe Torre gave so much to the team. Seeing him win would shut up that guy you know that kept calling for Joe to be fired.


CONS FOR A YANKEES FAN

- You ARE that guy that kept calling for Joe to be fired.

- Mattingly getting his ring in Dodger blue just seems wrong.

- Torre winning would cause Hank to act like his dad circa 1982-1990.

- Are you REALLY going to root for Derek Lowe?

- Are you REALLY going to root for Nomar?

- Are you REALLY going to root for MANNY??





ROOT FOR THE CHICAGO WHITE SOX

PROS FOR A METS FAN

- Like the Mets, the White Sox are the second team in Chicago and never seems to get the love they deserve. White Sox fans are to Cubs fans what Mets fans are to Yankees fans.

CONS FOR A METS FAN

- The same White Sox swiped Tom Seaver after the 1983 season. So instead of being part of the great Mets revival of the 1980s, Tom Terrific had to wear those awful pajama uniforms on the South Side


PROS FOR A YANKEES FAN

- They play in those pinstripe uniforms and the stadium is big with blue outfield walls... if you squint it looks like the Yankees won the World Series and not the White Sox


CONS FOR A YANKEES FAN

- They stole the Yankees look

- Javier Vasquez let up those two home runs to Johnny Damon that sunk the Yankees in 2004. I have a feeling not many Yankee fans forgot that.




ROOT FOR THE TAMPA BAY RAYS


PROS FOR A METS FAN

- The comparisons to 1969 will mean lots of clips of the 1969 World Series.

- Chances are you have an Uncle or Aunt near Tampa and you might be able to snag some tickets.

CONS FOR A METS FAN

- The sight of Scott Kazmir clinching a World Series is enough to get a posse of Mets fans to chase Victor Zambrano with pitch forks and torches.


PROS FOR A YANKEES FAN

- You can rationalize not winning the AL East by saying "Hey the Rays were a team possessed!"

- Chances are you have an Uncle or Aunt near Tampa and you might be able to snag some tickets.



CONS FOR A YANKEES FAN

- There's enough tension with the Yankee offices in Tampa... you don't need to have them have the World Champions in their back yard. That might literally kill George.




LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM

PROS FOR A METS FAN:- The Angels are always beating the Yankees... and that always put a smile on your face.

- It would be funny to see a player who is already IN Anaheim declare "I'm going to Disneyland!" That's like a New York player saying "I'm going to Ray's Pizza!"

CONS FOR METS FAN:
- Mike Scioscia is the manager. He hit the home run that helped sink the Mets in 1988. Old wounds heal slowly.

- Speaking of old wounds, you are still mad at that whole Nolan Ryan for Jim Fregosi deal.


PROS FOR A YANKEES FAN:
- The Yankees keep losing to the Angels and seeing other teams lose to them can take the sting out of it.

CONS FOR A YANKEES FAN:
- It's a team that can't decide where they are (Los Angeles! California! Anaheim! Los Angeles OF Anaheim!)

- Those stupid Thundersticks

- A freaking Rally Monkey!

- The team of the 2000s can NOT have a freaking Rally Monkey!

- 2002 and 2005 still hurt.



ROOT FOR THE BOSTON RED SOX


PROS FOR THE METS FAN

- Now THAT would tick off Yankee fans.

- It's been months since Boston has celebrated a title. They need a break.


CONS FOR THE METS FAN

- The more World Series the Red Sox win, the harder it is to make fun of Sox fans for 1986.

- The lesser of two evils is still evil.



PROS FOR THE YANKEES FAN

- You can remind Red Sox fans that if they continue to win 3 World Series every 5 years that they will match the Yankees World Series total in 2042. Math insults are fun.

- You can have that Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump moment where you stare up to the baseball Gods and yell "IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO???"


CONS FOR THE YANKEES FAN

- If you thought us Red Sox fans were obnoxious NOW? Just wait until we crow about a dynasty.

- The realization that there are 9 more years of A-Rod in a Yankees uniform.




So hopefully this was helpful and you can enjoy October even without your team here.
And if all else fails, there's a can't miss solution:

JUST ROOT AGAINST THE RED SOX!


Come on... I used to just root against the Yankees.
Trust me, you do NOT want to sit through another Red Sox World Series parade.

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